At me or at others
Grumbling is directed at me. I blame myself for forcing myself to a task. And I will carry it out, no matter how bitter this inner conflict.
Complaining is directed at the other. I resent the other or others for the slavery felt in my tasks, without sufficient compensation. I expect more congratulations, concern from others, which can take the simple form of making me complained about. My complaint awaits its recognition in others.
Female or male dominance
Laughing comes from a preferential masculine pole. Mark of a dominant individualism in the mind. The T of the soliTary dominates the D of the soliDary1(T<>D) is the core principle of the ‘Theory of Everything’ explained in Surimposium. Its simplicity is extreme: Everything emanates from a conflict between individuation and collectivization. Between “I am” and “belong to”. Between the T of soliTary and the D of soliDary. Each state of a thing is a tuning between its solitary and solidary tendencies, a T<>D tuning. The T grumbles because it is dominant and yet finds itself performing a task wanted by the D. It gets angry with itself, and does not need an audience to do it.
Complaining comes from a preferential feminine pole. Mark of a dominant collectivism. Here it is always the T who complains about the task the D wants —the D never protests, it is dedicated to the collective, all collectivist tasks are natural for it. Dominated by the D, the T seeks a consolation that it cannot provide for itself —it is in a position of subjection. It thus seeks this consolation around, in others. Positive reinforcement must come from without, since unlike the masculine-dominated mind it cannot come from within.
So we can understand that it is perfectly possible to grumble alone while it is impossible to complain without someone to attend.
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