How it matches

Before reading

Pre-review of a book that I have not yet opened. What’s the point? That of knowing if a book starts from the right base. Indeed, modern techniques for matching people are based a priori on the success of these mating. Isn’t this elementary positivism already too much? Isn’t that reducing our reach on the world instead of opening it up?

I explain. When I meet someone by chance, no one puts my foot in the stirrup. I know that life is a perpetual conflict of egos, that socializing is an energetic commitment in the management of these conflicts. Terrifying chaos, if I contemplate them all! Fortunately, a series of collective circles surround me, from the companion to the whole of humanity, each endowed with its own rules. I have a desire to “belong to” that pushes me out of my solitary individuation. Being oneself does not have much meaning without a very rich non-Self to answer it.

I equip myself

This desire makes me coming out of myself. An adventure! Which path to take? Will I trust my instincts or the advice of others? Suppose I don’t have too much confidence in myself, after suffering nasty disappointments. How will I regain this confidence if I delegate the task?

I rely on an algorithm to reduce the risk. In a densely populated city it’s almost mandatory, isn’t it? So many weird spirits inhabit it. It’s like I’m in the capital of a galactic empire, surrounded by a host of alien species. I try to get in touch with the few humans who look like me.

But what is a human? Is it just a physical appearance? Am I myself a fixed entity, or evolving, likely to expand? Haven’t I, precisely, decided to get out of myself? What is the point of going back immediately?

Without a coach

Truth be told, it doesn’t matter if the algorithm does me a favor or not. The problem is that if it fails I will attack it and not me. I give up in advance any responsibility for the outcome of the meeting. Why would I put a lot of energy into it under these conditions? Why be attentive? No threat.

It’s like going out on a street full of models. I can say my text, repeat a few dance steps with them, even make love if they are equipped. All this does not commit me to anything. I went out, but stay in my inner theater. I didn’t arrive in real life. I live in a city full of theaters, and no one really circulates outside.

The algorithms that match us? No matter how effective they are, they are by definition a loss of power. Glasses that filter reality. Prevent us from seeing what in anyone also wants to “belong to”. And to go and blend in. See if this produces a third


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